10. You write your Congressman, telling him to keep his crummy hands off your Medicare and Social Security.
9. You wonder if your current car will hold up until your kids take the keys away or the license bureau refuses to issue you a license, whichever comes first.
8. You read the obituaries of people you don’t even know, wondering if anyone will notice yours.
7. You make suggestions to your spouse for hymns you’d like sung at your memorial service or funeral.
6. You keep hinting to your kids that their inheritance took a big hit in the Great Recession.
5. You start making contributions to the Alzheimer’s Association, volunteering to be a guinea pig for any trial of wonder drugs for dementia.
4. You walk into an ice cream shop and realize you have your bedroom slippers on.
3. You peak at the price of Depends in the drugstore.
2. Your nightcap has become a glass of Miralax.
1. You respond to those commercials for ED remedies: “Four hours? How good would that be?”
--Richard A. Kauffman
