Dread this

If there is a cure for existential dread, I'd like to know it. 

My doctors routinely test my LDL, HDL, triglycerides, PSA and blood sugar account. If I'm in pain for some reason, they'll ask me how much pain--on a scale of 1-10--I'm experiencing at the moment. So far as I know they don't run a test to assess my EDL (existential dread level), nor do they ever ask me, "On a scale of 1-10 how much ED--no, that THAT ED--are you experiencing right now?" (In case you're wondering, my EDL today is running somewhere between 4 and 5.)

I suspect if doctors thought they had a cure for it, they'd devise a test for it. It would probably be the most important test they'd run, even more critical to my wellbeing than testing my ejection fraction (a measurement for testing how well the heart is pumping blood).

Don't we have Soren Kierkegaard to blame for coming up with the diagnosis without offering an antidote for it? Where is Dr. Kierkegaard when you need him?

I wonder if it's ever occurred to pastoral counselors to ask people: "How's your existential dread level today?" Would you like your pastor to routinely ask you, "Would you like to talk about your EDL today?" or "How would you like me to pray for your EDL?"

A cure for EDL would make someone rich, if it could be bottled or put into a pill. Can't you see someone  doing one of those half hour long, mind-numbing infomercials on TV? "A remarkable new discovery has been made. Never on the market before. A cure for existential dread. Blah, blah, blah."

If you have you any home remedies for existential dread, for the benefit of us all please add them in the comments section below. We will all be existentially grateful to you.

Richard A. Kauffman